For the first time in a long time I am on my own for the holidays. It’s been totally humbling. You know, when you find yourself by yourself – Just what do you do with yourself?
Funny way of putting it, but for me I’m not much for pity parties. “Woe is me” isn’t my style. Instead, I made this holiday season about other people. Giving. Truly giving for the first time. Not just because I had nothing better to do,and not just because it’s the right thing to do.. But giving because I really wanted to. And let me tell you, it’s been great. I’m starting to do this whole remolding process and carving the details.
I began a meals on wheels route for the holidays. That alone was humbling. Seeing how some people live – then seeing how I live really made me thankful for what I have.
I have to tell you, the first day I pulled up with my meals in tow – driving my bmw up to houses that couldn’t support the roof – I felt so foolish. Maybe it was just me seeing it that way, maybe it was God still breaking me down from my old ways of seeing things. I just got in my car afterwards and wept. I wept because of my self centeredness, my selfishness, my ignorance of the world around me. How unappreciative I had been. It made me so thankful and grateful for everything I have.
Then as I walked up door to door- I broke down again. The hands of the ill that can barely open their door, the wounds of the lonely that have no one to care for them, the family of 8 that lives in one room with a single mattress to sleep on and hardwood floors with no heat.
Humbled. I see what I have. I don’t mean material things or a nice home – though God has blessed me with plenty. What I saw was I have two able hands, two able feet, a mouth that can share kind words and heal the wounded of spirit. I have a smile that can brighten someones day. I can give those gifts freely. It doesn’t cost a thing.