Don’t you just hate it when the first thing you do when you wake up in the morning is say something stupid? I mean to tell you, that devil attacked me this morning before I even had a chance to wake up and have the conscious ability to shut him up. Grrrr… This morning I did it… I did it good. Well, I guess it was just my day to wake up and say something stupid. You can always tell those days when he harps on you hard, and you just feel mad at the world and moody (for lack of a better word..and mind you, I have the perfect word for this up my sleeve – but I’m refusing to let if roll off my tongue because I already prayed that God would help me watch my tongue today) Of course, after I already said something stupid! I just felt like moaning and groaning and being rude.
Anyways, I was just sitting here thinking about what I said. I’m still thinking, why???? Why did that come out of my mouth first thing? I just didn’t THINK about it. I honestly did not think before I spit out those ugly words. And unfortunately, I hurt someones feelings. God took me to Proverbs 18:21 Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits. And it’s true and I know it! I’m just hard headed, thick minded, and stubborn some days. Especially in the mornings.
SOMETIMES YOU JUST DON’T FEEL LIKE IT!
You don’t feel like thinking before you speak, you don’t feel like praying,you don’t feel like doing anything holy, you just feel like you want to be mad at the world for a little while. Anyone out there agreeing with me? Or am I the lone ranger?
I can’t help but think that’s exactly the way that darn devil want you to be – mad at the world and too weighed down to even get to the point of wanting to pray. That stinking heifer just jumps up and down on your shoulder and pulls your strings when you don’t even know he’s there. It is a conscious effort to say to him: You know what?! YOU NEED TO BACK DOWN! My day will not be ruled by you today, so sayonara buddy!
Ya know, you would think I would have these things realized by now. But it’s everyday that God deals with me on something different. Everyday I am more humble. Humbled by God because he is showing me my flaws. And for God it’s not enough for me to just see them, but he has to place them under a microscope so I see it very clearly. Today I just can’t win! The Devil’s beating me up on the left and God’s beating me up on the right! Grrrr…. Things that I need to do to be more Christlike….Well that process will never end. I’m just too far away from it. I vowed this morning – actually I vowed all week and still my hard head didn’t get it – but every morning this week my prayer has been “God, hold my tongue today.. watch my tongue today”
That stinkin devil attacked me this morning before I could even get my prayer out! He knows my challenges. Afterall, I’ve been voicing it all week long. Guess next time I will have to be a little bit firmer. I didn’t set my mind for the attack this morning. I’m just MAD about it. I am upset that something so stupid would come out this early in the morning and be so heartless as to hurt someone elses feelings. I’m banging my head against the wall. Ever since I said those words I’ve been kicking myself in the rear. Dag-nab-it! When am I going to ever overcome this tongue of mine??!!
I don’t know how to fix that part of me. I mean, watching and guarding your tongue is one of the hardest things to do, atleast it is for me. It might just be me, and no one else. Everyone else may let things roll off their backs and just blow through the day hunky dorie. But I can’t. The old me couldn’t for sure…
I’m one of those road ragers. (baring my soul here – be nice) If someone cuts me off in traffic I am one of those “Oh you yakkity-blah-blah-blankity-bleep-bleep” people. Then immediately God has begun to hit me over the head with the Godsmack Slapstick and say “Really? well now, do you feel better?” And Immediately I go to God and say “Oh Im sorry forgive me! ugh! I know I know!”
“But I say unto you, That every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment.” —Matthew 12:36
Im getting better about the road rage thing. But Im just not getting it when it comes to everyday life and day to day operations. I feel bad for the people closest to me. Lord knows they get a good ole Cherish lashing every now and then.. I should be worried about what I say and how I say it. But it is tough! It is the toughest thing!
“But the tongue can no man tame; it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison.” -James 3:8
I am going to open this blog up to it’s followers. I am asking for encouragement and comments. I want to know if you christians out there have gone through this same challenge I am facing daily. It’s harping on me. I see it, and want to change it with all of my heart but I just can’t overcome! I dont know why Im not getting it, and why I can’t put that skill into action. Learning it and seeking it and knowing it is one thing, but putting it into practical life skills is really hard. I just want to know, what do you guys do??? Do you put a rubber band around your wrist and flick it everytime you have a bad thought thats about to come out? I think I will use duct tape like momma always said…
What do YOU do? I really want to know~ It is heavy on my heart this morning and I need some support. I am showing my imperfections at every mile marker on this lifes highway and I am sick and tired of it. Because I am sick and tired of it thats where I can grow and get better. Help me! People help me by giving me some advice. I could really use your advice today.