Talking to God today, I was asking him a specific question. I got frustrated because he’s not giving me my answers. I want to know now! I’m one of those people that when I pray I want God to show up, be all over me, and give me the answer immediately. You know sometimes as tough as it sounds – it’s just not that way. I sit and think about how selfish I am being and how the “I want it and I want it now” hissy fits arise. I’m human…. I think back on this past year and you know what I found? I think God, has revealed so much to me, he revealed so much to me that I didn’t even know I needed the answers to. God is going to talk when he’s ready to talk. You know there are answered and unanswered prayers out there, there are answered and unanswered wants out there and sometimes we don’t get what we think we want. Sometimes what he wants is greater than our imaginations. It’s all timing. I wrote a blog several months back about being veiled. This blog spoke about the veil being taken off our eyes and the fact that we are only allowed to see certain things.
There are several places in the bible that illustrate that. So it’s just that we are covered and veiled for a time period. We can get out of Gods will because we have free will and we have the flesh which we always battle. But we are allowed to see certain things at certain times and I think sometimes we just try to get ahead of ourselves, and I know that is all I am trying to do. Ive lived my life that way. I’ve always tried to get ahead, ahead of myself, but sometimes I just need to back myself down and say “you know what..I don’t want to get ahead of God”. I want God ahead of me, so I can just follow the path that is already lit for me. So you know what? If God doesn’t feel like answering me, there is probably a good reason. Maybe the time isn’t right yet. It is so hard as a human being to realize that I’m not gonna get my answer! In my head I’m thinking “you mean I’m going to talk to you and you’re not going to answer me and tell me what I want to hear?” (stomping my foot…I can visualize it)
I’ve given up a lot to God. I’ve given about 80% over to God. And it say that with all honesty because I can’t say 100% just yet, but I’m working on it. I am in no way perfect, and I think everybody that reads this blog knows that. I am a sinner just like everybody else and I am humble enough to admit it. I beg and ask for forgiveness everyday. And by Gods grace I’m forgiven. I don’t have to carry those burdens on my shoulders. Praise God. And somedays grace is enough. Sometimes just knowing that God has you in his hand, that he is wrapped around your shoulder, is enough.
So God I am sorry I keep bugging you about this one particular issue. We live in a time where things happen in instants. Instant coffee, instant oatmeal, instant prayers, instant emails. I’m sorry. We are in a generation where microwaves take too long, and we grow impatient waiting for hot water from the faucet. How silly you must think we are!
There are so many things that I want answers to but your not giving them to me. But looking back today, you have given me what I needed. You don’t think like I think, because I would not be here in my life if not for you. At that point, I have to be thankful. I wouldn’t have been there by myself, so it’s you I have to thank for putting me where I am. God I know you will put me where you want me, and give me what I need because you have already. So I will just sit and wait a little while longer. I will still pray about it, because it’s on my heart- but at the same time, it’s ok now if you don’t answer me. Im not going to get angry with you and point my finger at you and yell ” God why won’t you answer!” maybe it’s not that at all. Maybe it’s just not the right time for me to know. After all if I knew the answer, I would go after it, if I knew what you wanted me to do, I would be doing it,and I would be out of your will if you told me ahead of the time you needed me to know.
So I will quit harping on the issue. When you get ready to speak to me God, you will let me know.”
I’ll leave the door open for you on this one.
Matthew 7:7 King James Bible
Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you:
Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me.