Yesterday I spent a lot of times fretting about Trinity Grace. For those of you not familiar with her – she is the child God has promised me. God actually gave me the name and direct visions and dreams for this child. Now it’s just waiting for God to say now is the time. The other morning, while getting ready for work, I was freaking out about a baby I’m not even carrying yet! I keep thinking what am I gonna do? When all the people I went to school with were reading books on child bearing and preparing for families of their own, I was in a completely different end-zone. I had made up my mind I would never have children. That wasn’t going to EVER be an issue. I was gonna shut it down. Matter of fact, I was going to get a procedure done so I would never have to worry about it.
It was probably about 2 weeks before that procedure was scheduled to be done when something happened. My insurance wasn’t going to pay for the elective procedure, and I didn’t have the funds at the time to take care of it myself.
I thank God I was poor at the time!
At any rate, the procedure fell through. About a month after that happened, the visions started coming to me. Things started taking place that broke me of my ways of thinking.
Which is exactly where I am now. I am in the acceptance phase. God, you want me to have this child you have promised, so I will accept it, and joyfully accept it. But then what happens after you carry it for 9 months and have it?? It’s beyond me. There is so much that I don’t know and it scares the bee-jeebies out of me. I’ve been fretting, praying, worrying.
God said “Cherish, what would you do with anything else you were uncertain about in your life?” I said, “I would research it. I would find out.” Then there was silence. Then it was like— Duh Cherish! There are books! Crazy amounts of books about carrying, conceiving, parenting. There are books out there about anything that you want to learn. So why is this any different? So, I guess I’ve concluded that it’s not any different at all. I guess I’m off to the book store…
In Philippians 4:6, we are commanded, “Do not be anxious [do not worry] about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” In this Scripture, we learn that we should bring all of our needs and concerns to God in prayer rather than worry about them.