It’s time we all get off our high horses. It’s time we realize the difference between a healthy marriage and an unhealthy marriage. It’s time that Christians stop feeling guilty about divorce, if it was founded and led through Gods will for your life. Especially if you were in an unhealthy marriage.
When I got divorced, I felt like I needed to hang my head. I felt like I had a single point of failure in my marriage and it was all my fault. All my life I was told that GOD HATES DIVORCE. Now I am not belittling or pushing aside this comment because I believe that God does hate divorce. HOWEVER, in speaking with many pastors, friends, and spiritual warriors, I have come to see that the shame I carried was unfounded. I did what God wanted me to do. God saw the relationship I had without blinders – he knew what was wrong even when I didn’t.
I will never forget the afternoon the message came to me. I was taking a shower, minding my own business and not thinking about anything in particular. My then husband was in the other room and a loud, unshaking voice said” GO, It’s time to leave”. I heard him. I knew what it was. But I wasnt ready to accept that yet.
Ultimately, it happened, i left, and the checkered flag was waved. I did what I had to do, but it wasnt easy. DIvorce is not easy. I had to talk myself out of being in love. I had to talk myself into leaving and walking out that door. I didn’t understand why I was leaving. I didn’t understand at the time – but I do understand now.
My marriage wasnt healthy. God is FOR healthy marriages. I had made my ex-husband my rock, and i was his. I made him into everything. My security, my confidante, my only. I didn’t realize all this until God made me leave. I got kicked out of my own house because I was led to leave. I don’t expect this to make sense to everyone, but I am spilling my truth.
It is true that God hates divorce, but more than that, God is a jealous God and he is just. God hates unfounded divorce! Celebrities make a mockery of marriage all day long. God hates that. My priorities were all wrong, my heart had hardened in my marriage, I was neglected and my life was going in the wrong direction because I was leaning on something that would – and did – falter./p>;;;;
“God hates divorce” is commonly being used in the church in an unbiblical manner and the result is a great deal of harm. It may not seem like a big deal for those who have not been faced with divorce or with marriages in violation of the Word, but the inaccurate handling of the Word is being used to keep people in bondage and also to cause added condemnation and rejection to people whom God has neither condemned nor rejected.
I am not ashamed. I am not guilty. I am not confused – anymore. God pulled that veil off my face before I had a chance to blink. I couldn’t hide behind my ignorance anymore, and somehow he knew that I would listen and obey his call.
Christians are in a tough spot these days when it comes to divorce. I know there are people out there that are getting married and divorced like its a fad. I was one of those that took my vows to heart, and fully expected ’til death’ with that person. I think its time however, that we realize that there are instances where God permits divorce.
Take a moment and read Malachi 2 for yourself. No matter how you look at Malachi 2, understand this passage doesn’t say “since God hates divorce it cannot be God’s will for any Christian to be divorced.” This understanding is important because this passage is killing Christians and their churches. Teachings on divorce can alienate if not based on scripture. Do not make a mockery of marriage or divorce. It takes two people to carry the weight of a healthy, successful, happy marriage.