Life goes on… What happens after God puts a call on your life? Well, LIFE CHANGES. No time for twiddling my thumbs anymore…..
The axis shifted while I was away on the Florida coastline. I was busy soaking up the sun, doing some much needed fishing, and eating all the seafood one can handle – and I didn’t even realize that time was up. First of all, announcement #1 is that I am happily remarried. Thank God! This one is the final one. This one, it the right one. The love of my lifetime. We enjoyed a great wedding on the beach and a honeymoon beachfront condo packed with all the family (literally, every one of them). It was perfect. We had just gotten back to Texas, and we were so busy unpacking, moving, and catching up at work that we missed the fact that I had missed something. Several weeks have gone by now, and I decided I needed to check on it.
Ready for announcement #2?
When I found out, I almost fell out on the floor. I made the doctor test me 3 different ways “just to be sure”. And sure enough, it was true. I think I am still in shock. I wasn’t “ready” for that news. Then again, was I ready for any of the news I got last year? Nope. So here we go! I guess Trinity Grace is in the processing plant, and we have about 8 months to prepare. EEkkk!! My husband is bouncing off the walls, cleaning, storing, nesting – if you will. Me? Well, I am sleeping. Sleeping A LOT. This baby making thing takes a lot out of you. I’m recognizing the use of a good power nap, I’m peeing 50 times a day, and I wake up in the middle of the night parched, realizing this baby eats everything including the taste in my mouth. It’s definitely new for me.
I’ve been anointed for his purpose. So I guess I was equipped with the skills to see it through. I am holding tight to Jeremiah 29:11 ya’ll!
HERE WE GO!
It’s time we all get off our high horses. It’s time we realize the difference between a healthy marriage and an unhealthy marriage. It’s time that Christians stop feeling guilty about divorce, if it was founded and led through Gods will for your life. Especially if you were in an unhealthy marriage.
When I got divorced, I felt like I needed to hang my head. I felt like I had a single point of failure in my marriage and it was all my fault. All my life I was told that GOD HATES DIVORCE. Now I am not belittling or pushing aside this comment because I believe that God does hate divorce. HOWEVER, in speaking with many pastors, friends, and spiritual warriors, I have come to see that the shame I carried was unfounded. I did what God wanted me to do. God saw the relationship I had without blinders – he knew what was wrong even when I didn’t.
I will never forget the afternoon the message came to me. I was taking a shower, minding my own business and not thinking about anything in particular. My then husband was in the other room and a loud, unshaking voice said” GO, It’s time to leave”. I heard him. I knew what it was. But I wasnt ready to accept that yet.
Ultimately, it happened, i left, and the checkered flag was waved. I did what I had to do, but it wasnt easy. DIvorce is not easy. I had to talk myself out of being in love. I had to talk myself into leaving and walking out that door. I didn’t understand why I was leaving. I didn’t understand at the time – but I do understand now.
My marriage wasnt healthy. God is FOR healthy marriages. I had made my ex-husband my rock, and i was his. I made him into everything. My security, my confidante, my only. I didn’t realize all this until God made me leave. I got kicked out of my own house because I was led to leave. I don’t expect this to make sense to everyone, but I am spilling my truth.
It is true that God hates divorce, but more than that, God is a jealous God and he is just. God hates unfounded divorce! Celebrities make a mockery of marriage all day long. God hates that. My priorities were all wrong, my heart had hardened in my marriage, I was neglected and my life was going in the wrong direction because I was leaning on something that would – and did – falter./p>;;;;
“God hates divorce” is commonly being used in the church in an unbiblical manner and the result is a great deal of harm. It may not seem like a big deal for those who have not been faced with divorce or with marriages in violation of the Word, but the inaccurate handling of the Word is being used to keep people in bondage and also to cause added condemnation and rejection to people whom God has neither condemned nor rejected.
I am not ashamed. I am not guilty. I am not confused – anymore. God pulled that veil off my face before I had a chance to blink. I couldn’t hide behind my ignorance anymore, and somehow he knew that I would listen and obey his call.
Christians are in a tough spot these days when it comes to divorce. I know there are people out there that are getting married and divorced like its a fad. I was one of those that took my vows to heart, and fully expected ’til death’ with that person. I think its time however, that we realize that there are instances where God permits divorce.
Take a moment and read Malachi 2 for yourself. No matter how you look at Malachi 2, understand this passage doesn’t say “since God hates divorce it cannot be God’s will for any Christian to be divorced.” This understanding is important because this passage is killing Christians and their churches. Teachings on divorce can alienate if not based on scripture. Do not make a mockery of marriage or divorce. It takes two people to carry the weight of a healthy, successful, happy marriage.
At some point, you guys are going to start thinking I’m making these stories up. However I warn you before I go any further – these are real. Tonight another really amazing thing happened to me and I can’t wait to share it!
Yesterday I had an hour to kill in between appointments so I decided to take a stroll in a department store browsing. I had been looking for a wedding dress for months, and not just any dress would do. LET ME TAKE A MINUTE TO EXPLAIN WHY
Remember I mentioned the visions I had been seeing? One of which was my wedding. My soon-to-be had seen the exact same vision, however where I only saw him, he only saw me. He explained the dress he saw to a very specific detail, he drew that dress on a napkin for me a couple months ago, and I have been obsessed with finding it every since. I knew it existed somewhere because God showed it to him, and it was burned so vividly in his mind.
I snapped a picture of a dress I saw at this department store and picture messaged him on his cell phone. I continued looking, because I didn’t think it was quite the right dress. He got back to me 30 minutes later and said “thats it” in caps. After I got the text message my phone blew up with phone calls from him. Well… I had already left the store. Matter of fact, I was 10 mintutes away so I popped a U-turn in the street and went back to get that dress (which they only had one of by the way.)
I pulled in, ran into the store like a mad-woman and went to the spot I found it. GONE! I panicked. I walked every isle thinking someone put it down somewhere else (after all it had only been 30 mins!) I even went so far as to see if anyone else was holding my dress – and I had decided I was going to buy them out to have that dress! I peeled every dress one-by-one until I was sure that it was gone. I asked every person on the floor about that dress and insisted they check in the stockroom, because I wasn’t leaving without that dress! Unfortunately, the dress was, in fact, gone – with no others to replace it.
I WAS DISHEARTENED. I made the phone call, and told him..
That night he got home from work and insisted we go back to the store. I insisted that I didn’t want to go back because I knew it wasn’t there- nor was there anymore coming. He was adament. So I digressed and went along preparing for yet another disappointment.
We got to the parking lot, and he prayed. In his prayer he said “Let us find the right dress, the one you showed me, and put it in my hand Lord, Amen”. I looked over at him, and smirked. We walked in. We went to the dresses.
BAM! There was that dress. Not just one, but four of them in each size.
I had an Oh my God! moment just then. My eyes were the size of golf balls when I said “those dresses were NOT there, I checked!”
I grabbed the dresses, rushed to the fitting room, and tried it on. I found one that fit, walked out, and I knew. His face said it all. After 10 minutes he uttered “That’s it!”
So I believe that dress was meant to be. He saw it, God provided it. If I had found it earlier in the day, it wouldn’t have been this great testimony to what God can do with a little faith and prayer. I now own the wedding dress that my hubby saw in his vision months back. How amazing is that story?! It is almost too surreal to believe. However, if God is for us who can stand against us?