Well ya’ll… It’s been FAR too long since I have taken the time to sit down and blog. But today, I blog. Let’s just say that I had an experience earlier in the week that was worth writing about. On this blog I have spared no expense sharing my heart. You all know that I am a sinner. The whole reason I came back around to Christ was because my life was headed in the wrong direction, and filled with sin and suffering. I am not too self-righteous to admit this. However, I want to share with you – there are a lot of people who are. I feel bad for those. My heart reaches out for those who appear to themselves “on a high horse”, and some of them – I am finding – are “Christians”. That’s not the way it was intended to be. We are called to BE THE GOOD in the world. When we see someone who has overcome sin, hurdles, and obstacles in life, it’s not up to us to judge or condemn.
I ran into a person in a restaurant the other day. To say the least, it was an unpleasant meeting. She called me by name as I was walking out, I responded and walked over, then she asked: “you’re a Christian blogger right?” To which I replied “yes.” Then the fun began! (sarcasm). Sheer attack is what I was faced with. She began yelling, pointing, causing a scene, name calling, and just downright being rude. Contrary to what I thought my reaction would be (ahem-slam her head into the wall behind her ) I was gentle, calm, and began trying to make sense of her madness, even to offer a ‘conversation’ (to no avail). I quoted scripture in rebuttal. (To which I was impressed, I didn’t even know that was in there!) This Cherish, The one who has been overtaken with the mercy and grace of God, has changed my heart of stone to a very soft ball of flesh.
It made me realize that all the things I have been saying is true. I am a changed person. God has done something INCREDIBLE through little ole me. As I left, I wondered who told her she could throw stones? When I walked away from that mess of a person, I was somewhat proud of that event that occurred. Even though it was a bash to my “ego”, I realized that I have lost my ego. I realized I have lost my “pride”(which was too big to begin with) and became solely dependent on God to fight my battles for me. It was truly amazing to walk away feeling on top of it. I had nothing to feel ashamed about – though she did. (Though probably too self-righteous to admit it.) The bible warns against this here: Romans 12:16- Be of the same mind toward one another. Do not set your mind on high things, but associate with the humble. Do not be wise in your own opinion. Afterall, Matt 7 says: Judge not lest ye be judged.
That experience in itself made me ponder. A hypocrite like that is the reason people don’t go to church. The reason some are afraid to go to church, and who’ don’t lik’e to go to church. It’s because a “Christian” like that is on the pew behind them! It’s Christians who call themselves Christians on Sundays and get into brawls and fits of rage that cause problems.
Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future. If you live by those guidelines you realize everyone starts somewhere.
Let’s See What the Bible Really Says About Judging:
“Open thy mouth, judge righteously, and plead the cause of the poor and needy.” (Prov 31:9)
“Now, thou son of man, wilt thou judge, wilt thou judge the bloody city? yea, thou shalt show her all her abominations.” (Ezek 22:2)
“But he that is spiritual judgeth all things, yet he himself is judged of no man.” (1 Cor 2:15)
“Do ye not know that the saints shall judge the world? and if the world shall be judged by you, are ye unworthy to judge the smallest matters?” (1 Cor 6:2)
I have decided that I will stand for what God wants from me in this lifetime. Though it doesn’t make worldly “sense” to me, I trust God – and my measure of faith is all I have, and it’s sufficient. 1 Corin 2:10 “But God has revealed them to us through is spirit. For the spirit searches all things, yes, the deep things of God. For what man knows, the things of a man except the spirit of the man which is in him? Even so no one knows the things of God except the spirit of God.” Romans 8:1 So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. EVERYONE is a sinner. But it is in honestly, sincerely, wholeheartedly asking God to forgive you of it – that makes you new and forgiven.
I am forgiven.
Proverbs 18:19- Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall. Better to be of a humble spirit with the lowly, than to divide the spoil with the proud.
So I thought back about what happened in the restaurant, and God led me to this. Galatians 5:19-26
Now the works of the flesh are evident which are: adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lewdness, idolatry, sorcery, hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dessentions, heresies, envy, murders, drunkenness, revelries, and the like; Of which I told you in a time past that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. And those who are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. IF WE LIVE IN THE SPIRIT, LET US ALSO WALK IN THE SPIRIT.
So, to the lady at the restaurant… I will advise you (as a Christian) read Galations 5:19-26. As I read it, I suffer the condemnation of the flesh. (As do you.) It seems to me that you and I are just alike in Christ’s eyes. However, I walked away and WALKED IN THE SPIRIT in the face of attack.
Every Knee will bow, and every eye will close.
“As you do not know the path of the wind, or how the body is formed in a mother’s womb, so you cannot understand the work of God, the Maker of all things.”
We humans place a lot of stock in our own reasoning and understanding. We think that because we don’t “see” it, or can’t “imagine” it, that the probability is non-existent. I’ve learned a lot of things recently. One of those things is never doubt God or his promises to you, no matter how unworldly, or ridiculous they may seem.
I am completely different than I was. My life is completely different than it was just one year ago.
Sometimes, I just sit and think about where I was in life, who I was in life, and I see why God decided to knock me off my high horse and take me off the road to mediocrity. I write this blog post this morning with a thankful, indebted heart.
This past year has proven to me that there is something bigger and better, higher and greater than I had ever expected. I have seemingly always believed in God. As a child, I would talk to him, pray to him, ask him things. Now, looking back – I believe he was answering me – I just didn’t realize it then. I was headed in the wrong direction as an adult. I didn’t see it because I was so blinded by the business of life and all the things the world had on it’s shelf for me. Now, I crave the peace and quiet. I would rather sit alone in a coffee shop and be at peace inside, watching the world pass by in their daily routes in a tizzy. I was there. I am much calmer now. Much more sure of what life will be, and what God wants from me.
I tried to lean on my own understanding for years. I was so beat down in my circumstances and tied that I never even tried to escape them. I never even prayed for escape. I prayed for love.
‘For I know the plans that I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.
Love came to me. However, not in the form I had imagined it would. Actually, far from what my prayers intended. Nonetheless, my life was filled with love, and my cup overflowed. I do not claim to undestand. In fact, I still don’t understand what has happened to my life, or the “me” that used to live in it. I no longer desire this world or the things of it – it all seems so superficial, and dim compared to what I have known and seen.
Be careful what you pray for.
I often think that I don’t recognize anything about my life anymore. But I find a peace and happiness in knowing that I am firmly placed in God’s hand. For the first time in my life, I stopped running away from my will, my duty, my path. I fought God, but ultimately he won. Now I am ashamed to think that I even put up the fight. I will never understand God’s love fully. I can’t wrap my human brain around his mercy, forgiveness, and faithfulness. However, I do know that he has given me all those things.
It is well with my soul.
Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He will make your paths straight.
for it is God who is at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure.
And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.
and He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He intercedes for the saints according to the will of God.
And your ears will hear a word behind you, “This is the way, walk in it,” whenever you turn to the right or to the left.
I talk to a lot of people that grew up in a church atmosphere, and for some reason most of these people still don’t understand how to pray. I have heard people tell me that “I feel like I’m doing it wrong” or “I don’t think I understand prayer”. Guys, listen up!
PRAYER IS NOT A METHODICAL RELIGIOUS MOTION YOU TAKE!
Prayer is simple. It is coming to God from a sincere heart, and ‘talking’. In John 15:15 Jesus said “I call you friends”. Think for a moment about your friends. Now think about a specific friend, or mentor that you greatly admire and respect. How do you talk to them? You can start with that idea, then imagine God: A holy, beautiful, sinless, perfect “person”. It is hard to understand with human understanding, however my case stands that you can talk to God like he is sitting in the chair next to you (with upmost respect of course).
For instance, when I get up in the morning, I say a short small breath prayer. What is that? Well, it goes like this: God, lead me guide me and direct me today. Let me be a light unto a dark world, Amen.
However, I generally worship “talk to” God all throughout the day. When I am getting ready for work, I talk to God about my concerns for the day. When I am driving to work, I pray he protects me as I travel, and put me where he wants me. When I am at work, I thank him for the blessings that happen immediately as they occur. I give thanks in EVERYTHING. 1 Thes 5:18 says give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. If I hear a praise song that makes me remember what God did for me, I praise him and thank him and glorify him in my still, quiet places. This song always gets me going :
When I think about the Lord http://youtu.be/QsEGRB695hs
Children are often times the BEST prayers. Why? Because they pray because they want to, not because they feel they have to.
Prayer is basic. Prayer is heartfelt. Prayer is the sincere wanting and needing to be closer to God, not just about asking God to grant your wishes like a genie. God is not going to give you everything you ask, and it doesn’t mean you have to blame him when you don’t get what you thought you wanted. It could be that there is something better coming down the pipes for you. Prayer is giving your heart to God, and asking him to search it, and reveal what belongs there and what doesn’t. Prayer is humbly presenting yourself for searching. Psalm 139:23 Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.
Prayer is that simple. A little advice, prepare yourself before you come to God. I used to pray this BEFORE I prayed – “God, shut down my thoughts and restless body, let me forget this world for a few uninterrupted moments with you. I want to come to you today, please reveal yourself to me Lord.”
There is no right or wrong way to pray. Prayer is between YOU and GOD. If you pray, and feel God – then he heard you. If you are unsure, maybe you can visit with someone who can help guide you. Sometimes “being unsure” is just a matter of the heart. Sometimes you just feel too full of sin or guilt to feel like you are “worthy” of God to listen or talk back. If that is you, LET IT GO. God will take your burden if you just ask. Matthew 11:28 says “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.
IF GOD SAID IT – HE MEANT IT.
I will leave you with this: Rev 3:20 Look! I stand at the door and knock. If you hear my voice and open the door, I will come in, and we will share a meal together as friends.
If you still aren’t sure that you are being heard, or you feel you don’t understand prayer – Here is something you can start praying for and it may change your life.
At some point, you guys are going to start thinking I’m making these stories up. However I warn you before I go any further – these are real. Tonight another really amazing thing happened to me and I can’t wait to share it!
Yesterday I had an hour to kill in between appointments so I decided to take a stroll in a department store browsing. I had been looking for a wedding dress for months, and not just any dress would do. LET ME TAKE A MINUTE TO EXPLAIN WHY
Remember I mentioned the visions I had been seeing? One of which was my wedding. My soon-to-be had seen the exact same vision, however where I only saw him, he only saw me. He explained the dress he saw to a very specific detail, he drew that dress on a napkin for me a couple months ago, and I have been obsessed with finding it every since. I knew it existed somewhere because God showed it to him, and it was burned so vividly in his mind.
I snapped a picture of a dress I saw at this department store and picture messaged him on his cell phone. I continued looking, because I didn’t think it was quite the right dress. He got back to me 30 minutes later and said “thats it” in caps. After I got the text message my phone blew up with phone calls from him. Well… I had already left the store. Matter of fact, I was 10 mintutes away so I popped a U-turn in the street and went back to get that dress (which they only had one of by the way.)
I pulled in, ran into the store like a mad-woman and went to the spot I found it. GONE! I panicked. I walked every isle thinking someone put it down somewhere else (after all it had only been 30 mins!) I even went so far as to see if anyone else was holding my dress – and I had decided I was going to buy them out to have that dress! I peeled every dress one-by-one until I was sure that it was gone. I asked every person on the floor about that dress and insisted they check in the stockroom, because I wasn’t leaving without that dress! Unfortunately, the dress was, in fact, gone – with no others to replace it.
I WAS DISHEARTENED. I made the phone call, and told him..
That night he got home from work and insisted we go back to the store. I insisted that I didn’t want to go back because I knew it wasn’t there- nor was there anymore coming. He was adament. So I digressed and went along preparing for yet another disappointment.
We got to the parking lot, and he prayed. In his prayer he said “Let us find the right dress, the one you showed me, and put it in my hand Lord, Amen”. I looked over at him, and smirked. We walked in. We went to the dresses.
BAM! There was that dress. Not just one, but four of them in each size.
I had an Oh my God! moment just then. My eyes were the size of golf balls when I said “those dresses were NOT there, I checked!”
I grabbed the dresses, rushed to the fitting room, and tried it on. I found one that fit, walked out, and I knew. His face said it all. After 10 minutes he uttered “That’s it!”
So I believe that dress was meant to be. He saw it, God provided it. If I had found it earlier in the day, it wouldn’t have been this great testimony to what God can do with a little faith and prayer. I now own the wedding dress that my hubby saw in his vision months back. How amazing is that story?! It is almost too surreal to believe. However, if God is for us who can stand against us?
Whether it is written or verbal, God’s word never lies.
I was thinking about something that was told to me in a church service a few months back. I visited a church that had a so-called “prophet” visit. This prophet had a word for me during that service. Granted, I am initially leery about these types of people, I sensed a sincerity in this one. (Mainly because she wasn’t a FOR PROFIT PROPHET, and you don’t find many of those.) Anyways, I had been seeing visions for several months prior to actually coming in contact with her at that service. She walked right up to me and said these words:
“These things you are seeing, they are just the smoke compared to a burning fire that is behind it. You will be used to preach to nations.”
I took her words at face value, said thank you, and went on my merry way. I immediately got back into my car, wrote her words in my journal I had been keeping and went on. I thought about how silly that woman was! Thinking I would preach to nations..Ha! Does she even know she was telling that to a girl who has been to a total of 4 states?! (none of which are above the Mason Dixon line by the way). Plus I don’t even own a passport to go anywhere! ME?! I AM GOING TO PREACH TO NATIONS??! Ha.. Maybe she was a little off her rocker. Maybe her wires got crossed that day…….
This weekend it hit me like a ton of bricks..
OMG! I AM PREACHING TO NATIONS!
Three months after I met that prophet, I got a word to “write”. Not sure what I was supposed to write about, I just started blabbering away, and thought I would try my hand at blogging. Needless to say, here I am now and I seem to have developed a small following. However small, my blog has allowed me to reach nations. NATIONS! Hear that? It’s God saying I TOLD YOU SO. Matthew 19:26 Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” Yes…All things ARE possible. This blog has followers from Asia, Saudi, Iran, China, Cuba…Just to name a few. I am humbled as I sit here in amazement looking at what God did. He gave me a message, and delivered the truth after my obedience of following through.
Looking back……..Has God ever asked me to do anything that was status quo? He never called me to act sanctimoniously. No, he asks the incredible, the unheard of, the unimaginable, and often times insane. What my earth-bound body perceives as crazy, God deems achievable, attainable, and conquerable.
Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me.
Today I pray that God will lead me like a vessel lost at sea. Like a ship without a captain, that he will push me purposefully. I pray that my existence is meager next to him, that all the glory of accomplishments lead new souls to him. I pray for my direction to be wherever he chooses, and I pray that I care less to count my wins and loses. I pray my battle keeps me, and my sword stays in its sheath.
I pray you will fight it for me Lord, when I hand it over to thee. I pray I don’t mis-lead, or teeter far away, I pray you align me to what you want from me today. I pray Lord forgiveness for all the mistakes I will make, and I forgive all others for simple mercy’s sake. Give me God my blessings, Give me what I need.. To make today successful, I begin it on my knees.
I love you lord for what you do for me. I love you lord for what I am to you. I love you Lord, those days you carry me. I love you lord. some days without you I dont know where I would be.
When I think about all the times and things I did said. Went after what I wanted so relentlessly. Brings me down to nothing when I think about how selfish Ive been. How selfish Ive been.
So you changed me. Rearranged me. made me better today. I can love you and not love me for all that I was consumed. Lord I love you because you loved me. And you showed me how to be. The love you found and gave to me. My heart was so buried. Until you showed me your way. That I could give love away. And be so happy. Lord Ill be so happy. yeah, to give my love away. Its not in taking day by day. Its in the giving love away. you make me straight.
I just wanna give my love away. Jesus. Give my love away. I thank you lord in heaven today. That you would give me the love that I would love to give away.
Jesus Im gonna give it away.
This heart of stone it turned to gold. It was rediscovered and recovered by Jesus. Im gonna give it away. You made my heart to love. YOu made my heart to love people. Give love, be love, now I know it. Im gonna show it. Ive gonna give love, Im not gonna take it. Im gonna give love, oh yea. My reason for being is to love humanity. I know I can just love. I dont see so color, I dont see no dirt. I dont see nothing but your heart and soul and spirit. I love you for you. Jesus put it in me to love, So I will love. No judgement on you. No judgement from me. Because God himself doesnt judge until your days are done. he told me so, so who am I today, to tell you what your doing wrong. Im nothing. Im nothing. Im no one without you Jesus. I know my place – behind you.
Anyone else out there an incessant check-list checker off-er? You know what I mean.. We make a list and can’t wait to check that task off as done. It gives us a sense of pride and purpose once we see how todays list is checked off and tomorrows is halfway done already. Anyone else? C’mon…..admit it!
How about the new thing now-a-days where churches give out sermon notes with that bullet list of the songs they will sing, the message of the day, guest speakers- Et cetera… Dang those things, I have to check those off too to make sure everyone is in line with the pamphlet. It’s a problem, I know, its my crazy- I will deal with it. Good or bad, it’s who I am, and some others will brave forward and say “omg, me too!” (or not… )
MOVING ON TO WHY I AM BLOGGING THIS…….
Can you imagine God’s checklist?! I can’t even fathom his to do list. I do however know that I am on that list – luckily I’m not checked off yet. I do sit and ponder all my family members in heaven that have been God’s finished project and checked off to go home. I was thinking how they got called to heaven once they are completed by God. A project that was beautifully created, and wonderfully made, and the beauty God must see in the incomplete works he has. Could a checkbox that’s not complete be a beautiful thing??
Knowing that we are the miry clay and he is the potter that cannot wait to shape that ‘mess-o’-mud’ into a beautiful piece of art with our fathers name engraved on it. How nice is it when you complete a project and you can’t wait to sign your name to it?Something that you can be proud of and have pride in…
God has a few of my family members in heaven that have been checked off. A work in progress, that finally completed the task, the growth, the mission if you will. I can only imagine how one checkmark can lead to several other ‘to do’ tasks for God. Go with me here for a moment. If it werent for my grandparents checkmark – my parents wouldn’t be to-do’s. And if it weren’t for my parents – I wouldnt be a to-do..and so on down the line….IMAGINE..
New International Version (NIV)
God isn’t finished with me yet.