It’s time we all get off our high horses. It’s time we realize the difference between a healthy marriage and an unhealthy marriage. It’s time that Christians stop feeling guilty about divorce, if it was founded and led through Gods will for your life. Especially if you were in an unhealthy marriage.
When I got divorced, I felt like I needed to hang my head. I felt like I had a single point of failure in my marriage and it was all my fault. All my life I was told that GOD HATES DIVORCE. Now I am not belittling or pushing aside this comment because I believe that God does hate divorce. HOWEVER, in speaking with many pastors, friends, and spiritual warriors, I have come to see that the shame I carried was unfounded. I did what God wanted me to do. God saw the relationship I had without blinders – he knew what was wrong even when I didn’t.
I will never forget the afternoon the message came to me. I was taking a shower, minding my own business and not thinking about anything in particular. My then husband was in the other room and a loud, unshaking voice said” GO, It’s time to leave”. I heard him. I knew what it was. But I wasnt ready to accept that yet.
Ultimately, it happened, i left, and the checkered flag was waved. I did what I had to do, but it wasnt easy. DIvorce is not easy. I had to talk myself out of being in love. I had to talk myself into leaving and walking out that door. I didn’t understand why I was leaving. I didn’t understand at the time – but I do understand now.
My marriage wasnt healthy. God is FOR healthy marriages. I had made my ex-husband my rock, and i was his. I made him into everything. My security, my confidante, my only. I didn’t realize all this until God made me leave. I got kicked out of my own house because I was led to leave. I don’t expect this to make sense to everyone, but I am spilling my truth.
It is true that God hates divorce, but more than that, God is a jealous God and he is just. God hates unfounded divorce! Celebrities make a mockery of marriage all day long. God hates that. My priorities were all wrong, my heart had hardened in my marriage, I was neglected and my life was going in the wrong direction because I was leaning on something that would – and did – falter./p>;;;;
“God hates divorce” is commonly being used in the church in an unbiblical manner and the result is a great deal of harm. It may not seem like a big deal for those who have not been faced with divorce or with marriages in violation of the Word, but the inaccurate handling of the Word is being used to keep people in bondage and also to cause added condemnation and rejection to people whom God has neither condemned nor rejected.
I am not ashamed. I am not guilty. I am not confused – anymore. God pulled that veil off my face before I had a chance to blink. I couldn’t hide behind my ignorance anymore, and somehow he knew that I would listen and obey his call.
Christians are in a tough spot these days when it comes to divorce. I know there are people out there that are getting married and divorced like its a fad. I was one of those that took my vows to heart, and fully expected ’til death’ with that person. I think its time however, that we realize that there are instances where God permits divorce.
Take a moment and read Malachi 2 for yourself. No matter how you look at Malachi 2, understand this passage doesn’t say “since God hates divorce it cannot be God’s will for any Christian to be divorced.” This understanding is important because this passage is killing Christians and their churches. Teachings on divorce can alienate if not based on scripture. Do not make a mockery of marriage or divorce. It takes two people to carry the weight of a healthy, successful, happy marriage.
God, talk to me today. I feel your presence upon me – hovering and covering me – yet I’m not hearing you. Guide me lord. I pray my flesh is a slave to the holy spirit inside of me. I pray that you move through me and work through me without me having a chance to back down or look back. Lord make me bolder, make me wiser. Make me more compassionate and kind. Teach me your ways and lead me forcefully to your path – for I don’t want a chance to stray. This world has nothing for me. I am yours completely.
Thank you for the people and opportunities that you have placed in front of me. Thank you for the blessings I didn’t expect. Thank you for your faithfulness, mercy, grace and forgiveness.
I pray for my love. I pray that you give him supernatural strength and energy to do what the spirit requires. I pray your sharpen him so much that he cannot fail. I pray that any guilt or doubt in him be removed and remind him why he’s here. Give his soul understanding, comfort and a raging fire.
I pray for my enemies. You know them lord, even the ones I can’t count. You told me that the attacks would come. What my enemies don’t know is that you have forwarned me. You have revealed their schemes to me, and I know. I am prepared for that battle because of you lord. Thank you for arming me. God, I answer you alone. I pray the holy spirit convicts my enemies and you will fill their hearts with understanding, compassion, and forgiveness. You brought me to this battle, but you also gave me the sword. I will fight for you. I will fight for my will in you. I will forever fight for my place and others place in the kingdom.
The stakes are high. But God you are higher.
Lead me, guide me, protect me.
At some point, you guys are going to start thinking I’m making these stories up. However I warn you before I go any further – these are real. Tonight another really amazing thing happened to me and I can’t wait to share it!
Yesterday I had an hour to kill in between appointments so I decided to take a stroll in a department store browsing. I had been looking for a wedding dress for months, and not just any dress would do. LET ME TAKE A MINUTE TO EXPLAIN WHY
Remember I mentioned the visions I had been seeing? One of which was my wedding. My soon-to-be had seen the exact same vision, however where I only saw him, he only saw me. He explained the dress he saw to a very specific detail, he drew that dress on a napkin for me a couple months ago, and I have been obsessed with finding it every since. I knew it existed somewhere because God showed it to him, and it was burned so vividly in his mind.
I snapped a picture of a dress I saw at this department store and picture messaged him on his cell phone. I continued looking, because I didn’t think it was quite the right dress. He got back to me 30 minutes later and said “thats it” in caps. After I got the text message my phone blew up with phone calls from him. Well… I had already left the store. Matter of fact, I was 10 mintutes away so I popped a U-turn in the street and went back to get that dress (which they only had one of by the way.)
I pulled in, ran into the store like a mad-woman and went to the spot I found it. GONE! I panicked. I walked every isle thinking someone put it down somewhere else (after all it had only been 30 mins!) I even went so far as to see if anyone else was holding my dress – and I had decided I was going to buy them out to have that dress! I peeled every dress one-by-one until I was sure that it was gone. I asked every person on the floor about that dress and insisted they check in the stockroom, because I wasn’t leaving without that dress! Unfortunately, the dress was, in fact, gone – with no others to replace it.
I WAS DISHEARTENED. I made the phone call, and told him..
That night he got home from work and insisted we go back to the store. I insisted that I didn’t want to go back because I knew it wasn’t there- nor was there anymore coming. He was adament. So I digressed and went along preparing for yet another disappointment.
We got to the parking lot, and he prayed. In his prayer he said “Let us find the right dress, the one you showed me, and put it in my hand Lord, Amen”. I looked over at him, and smirked. We walked in. We went to the dresses.
BAM! There was that dress. Not just one, but four of them in each size.
I had an Oh my God! moment just then. My eyes were the size of golf balls when I said “those dresses were NOT there, I checked!”
I grabbed the dresses, rushed to the fitting room, and tried it on. I found one that fit, walked out, and I knew. His face said it all. After 10 minutes he uttered “That’s it!”
So I believe that dress was meant to be. He saw it, God provided it. If I had found it earlier in the day, it wouldn’t have been this great testimony to what God can do with a little faith and prayer. I now own the wedding dress that my hubby saw in his vision months back. How amazing is that story?! It is almost too surreal to believe. However, if God is for us who can stand against us?
I rolled out of bed this morning a little on the late side. I woke up thinking.. Gee, I haven’t posted a blog in awhile. Funny how things happen in a day. I was overcome with the need to pray this morning. I had a very thankful heart that had this insane desire to speak to God and thank him personally for everything he has done and is doing in my life.
When I first met my “soon to be husband” we went on a very extreme spiritual walk together. We felt God moving in everything around us, and we knew that God himself had put us together. He told me early on that ” you need to get a passport, because God said you need one.” Well I will admit I scoffed it off a little because I hadn’t exactly been an avid traveler. (matter of fact I had never ventured passed 4 states.)
At any rate this morning I had a fire lit under me to go get a passport.
So I went to get one….
From there interesting things began to happen….
I walked in to the post office and sat waiting for awhile. A little while later a man and his family came walking in, and this man was humming non-stop. You could tell he was joyful and happy inside. The kind of happiness that only peace and comfort through God can give you. I minded my own business as they sat across the room.
Within 10 minutes this man walked over to me and said he had been praying for me since he walked in. He asked if he could share a scripture with me that God had given him – and immediately I said yes.
He read that scripture to me and had a little more to say. He explained that God has his eyes on me and that I have something special to do. He called me royalty. I never thought about myself as royalty, but I guess we all are since we are descendants of a king. It reminded me of Shelly Wilson’s song: Did you know. If you don’t know Shelly, here is the link to her ministry.
I smiled, using him, God showed me that I was on the right track. Apparently it was long overdue to get a passport. I was next in line, so with that word – I got up and started the process. As I reached in my wallet to pay the fee – someone came up from behind me and placed a 100 dollar bill on the table.
It was that same kind gentleman that had given me a word from God earlier. I was perplexed. No one had ever given me money, especially of that magnitude before- and more so from a perfect stranger. You will recall from my earlier blog my trouble with finances lately ULTIMATE SACTRIFICE. GOD IS GOOD! The gentleman told me that God told him I needed it.
As I left, I went over to that gentleman one more time and thanked him and asked him about the 100.00 bill. He explained that GOD had given him word earlier that his passport would be paid for him. He said when God told him to give me that 100.00 he did it. Immediately following his act of obedience, his wife called and said she just received a 200.00 check that was unexpected. In gambling I would say he made out pretty well by doubling his investment through Gods request.
I inquired more about him. He said he was a missionary from this area, and he had been trusting God 100% in his finances. He explained that for a family of 5 it can be tough at times, but also he had a joy in his face telling me that God has provided. Then he began to recite Matthew 5:26-34
“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life[a]?
I sing because I’m happy,
I sing because I’m free,
His eye is on the sparrow,
And I know He watches me (He watches me)
His eye is on the sparrow
And I know he watches (I know he watches)
(I know he watches me)
I sing because I’m happy,
I sing because I’m free,
His eye is on the sparrow,
And I know He watches me (He watches me)
His eye is on the sparrow
And I know he watches me (He watches me)
He watches me (I know he watches me)
I left that post office and thanked God for that blessing. The last words that fellow said to me was “I’m investing in your ministry”. I never even thought of myself having a ministry. I guess if we look up the definition it is SERVING. So I guess I do have a ministry. Thank you to the gentleman, (I didnt even get your name) and Thank you to a God that meets real needs.
I was driving today and started thinking about all the things I am grateful for. What better way to start off the day than to make a list and show gratitude on Grati-Tuesday!
I am grateful for my 2nd chance in Christ. I was saved at 18 years old in my grandmothers church. Though I had heard Gods call on my life- I ignored it for years. I am grateful that he grabbed me on the collar and made me walk a straighter line. With that, I am grateful for the newness within me and the love of Christ that I never truly experienced before.
I want to show gratitude for my sweetie also. To the man that wakes up every morning with a smile on his face and a song on his lips for me. The man who makes the worlds best cup of coffee and hands it to me with a hug and a kiss and a simple “I love you”. Coffee will never taste the same if it’s not prepared by that man.
I am grateful for family. Thankful that they will stand by you and beside you when need be. Extremely grateful to still have my family still with me on this Earth. I can still call mom and dad, my sisters and niece, and hear their voices and laughter on the other line.
I am grateful for the heart of flesh within me. I had been so hardened for so many years, I now understand the difference. I cry when I see things wrong, I have empathy and compassion where there was none. I feel extremely, uncontrollably, human again – and that is a dying breed here.
I am grateful for work. Just to have a job in this downed economy would be enough, but God gave me a job that I love, where I can really make a difference and feel fulfilled.
I am grateful for friends. Not just the many acquaintances I have come to know through work, but true friends. The friends that I would trust my life with. Im thankful to the friends I get to share my walk with God with. Those friends that knew me before and after, and who understand and appreciate who I am today.
I am thankful and grateful that my priority list was assigned and designated by God. That I have marching orders and if I obey, I have the promise of Gods blessing on my life. I am so grateful to be where I am at this point in my life. I feel as though I am a rocketship on a landing pad just waiting for blastoff!
I am grateful for every breathe I take. I pray I never forget how precious the breathe of life really is.
What difference did you make in someone’s life today?
So many Christians believe that they have to do something groundbreaking, enormous, and vastly substantial to make a difference. This couldn’t be further from the truth. God uses each of us together to make the big things happen. Have you ever watched a group tug of war competition? Picture watching the two teams battle, but only half of the first teams group is doing the work. Guess who won? It’s easy to see that every little bit that is done helps. Do not discount your “little bit”.
I remember when I was a child, I was working outside with my dad. We were digging a ditch to put in a swimming pool. Gosh, I remember that hole having to be extremely deep and wide, and no matter how much dirt I shoveled, it never seemed to get any deeper. When I was looking drained and exhausted from ditch digging, I remember dad looking at me and saying “every little bit you do, is a little less that I have to do”. I guess my “little bit” meant a little more to him than it did to me.
Another story I am reminded of as I write this. I was given 3 large print bibles by a friend of mine. (their “little bit”). I kept them in my car, just in case the opportunity to minister to someone might arise. One afternoon I was sitting at a Wendy’s eating lunch. I saw an elderly woman with a palm sized bible and what seemed like bottle cap glasses, trying to examine that book in front of her. At first, I laughed at its hilarity, but then I was immediately reprimanded and reminded that I had the solution to her problem not 5 feet away. I put down my hamburger, walked to my car, and pulled out a large print bible I had been saving. I walked in, handed it to her, and said” I think this is yours.” (“my little bit”) She was elated. She smiled, had me put my name and her name in that bible together, and said she would put it on her bedside table and read it every night.
See how small that was? It was a “little bit” of effort, a “little bit” of caring, and a “little bit” of compassion.
Are you ready to start sharing your little bit?
I want to hear your stories like this.